Intention and goal setting are super important if you want to achieve anything meaningful. Whether that’s at the gym, a business or in your personal life. But why do so many people fail when it comes to their fitness goals, business goals and personal life goals? The answer lies within their intentions and counter intentions.
Let’s say you set the goal of getting a six pack at the gym, for example. So you start out with the best of intentions and join the gym. You even start cutting out carbs perhaps in your diet, an important part of shredding your belly fat. But a couple of months in, you go out for some drinks and have a pizza. The next day you’re not feeling like training so you skip the gym.
Your intention or goal has met with a counter-intention which has superseded your primary goal. Your counter intention is that of having fun with your friends, having a beer (or a few) and a pizza. You didn’t plan on it, but your counter-intention has now killed off your new gym habit. You have a beer the next evening too, to take the edge off your hangover. Your enthusiasm for the gym is gone, and you take a few days off.
Intention And Goal Setting – Let Yourself Off The Hook
You let yourself off the hook saying “well it’s just a one-off”, “I’m not a monk” and decide that your initial goal wasn’t that important anyway. Now you have changed your intention from “get a six pack”, to “enjoy your life”. The goal becomes a distant memory until you fall into your lowest acceptable standards. You see the beer belly growing, due to too many pizzas and beers, and so you set another goal to “get fitter”. Only “getting fitter” isn’t a tangible goal, it’s whimsical, and you’ll never know when you actually arrive because it’s not measurable. See SMART goals and DUMB goals.
A SMART goal is – Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timebound, so you will know when you hit it. Some people don’t like SMART goals because they are too cerebral and don’t sound like much fun! A goal should motivate you and pull you towards it with a strong internal connection to it.
If you set a goal which you don’t really care about, you’re going to eventually come up against a counter-intention which stops you from attaining it and which you desire more than the goal you initially set. Like with the beer/pizza example of going to the gym and getting fitter/a six pack.
Intention And Goal Setting – Counter Intentions & Standards
“We are not the best version of our self, we are the lowest version of our self that we can stand.” – Sam Ovens
As we hit “rock bottom” in any aspect of our lives, whether it is fitness, finance, relationships or career, we aspire to lift our game by setting goals. However, once we are flying high again, we lose our desire and fall back towards our lowest standards again.
This is a universal phenomenon and the graph of the pattern looks like this:
We work hard to attain the life, habits and circumstances we desire at the top of the above curve. This is our goal or achievement which we aspire towards when we set our goals/intentions.
However, as we get near the top of the curve something happens and we slacken off. We have, after all achieved what we set out to do. Perhaps we attained the income we desired online, or we got the physique we wanted from the gym.
At this point we start to celebrate and pat ourselves on the back. Our counter-intentions kick in and we find ourselves falling down the curve back towards our lowest acceptable standards, (shown as the bottom of the curve).
What’s The Answer?
The answer isn’t to keep setting lofty goals which you strive for then, and then fall short. Instead, lift the lower levels troughs of the chart (the lowest acceptable standards). If you’re struggling to keep up with your goals, perhaps you have set a goal or intention which doesn’t motivate you enough?
If your counter intentions are stronger, they will kill your motivation for your goals, and you’ll find yourself somewhere in the middle of the chart above.
By removing the lower level, the chart trends upwards and your peaks become higher as well as the troughs (see below)
To lift the lower levels of your standards, as well as setting powerful goals which motivate you towards your best outcomes, you are putting yourself in a much more powerful position.
Summary
The reason you haven’t achieved your “dream lifestyle” “dream body/fitness” etc. you is because of having accepted the lowest standards on your chart of peaks and troughs. This trend can be found in many facets of life: how tidy/untidy you allow your house to get, your car, your finances and so on. When you become unhappy, you work, set goals and strive for better. When you reach the “pinnacle” which you have set for yourself, you fall back towards the trough again (your lowest acceptable standards).
Here’s a video from Charlie Morgan which explains this in greater detail which I found super helpful. This was a major eye opener for me and hope it helps you too. See also how to “flag” your goal to your unconscious mind.